Hungry 21st omnivores may choose to eat this cd. Others may have had lunch already. For all of you, obese and anorexic, we dedicate this assault on good taste.
Most of these songs were composed as simple folk songs to be performed by cute girls in coffee shops. That didn’t work out so the extra-planetary forces we represent instructed us to present the material in its most offensive form so as to hide its soft center. It works for candy bars, they reasoned, and who doesn’t like candy bars?
In the beginning there was only darkness, noise, and other weird stuff. What some call heavenly creation lacked purpose. This seemed okay at the time but was subsequently deemed to be ‘unproductive’. Cosmic explosions and galaxy destroying cataclysms went unnamed and unheard. Then meat arose in the universe. First, undifferentiated one cell carnivores roamed the primordial seas and even migrated across solar systems seeking new and exciting culinary opportunities. Then some of the more enterprising cells grouped themselves into clusters the most ambitious of whom (let’s keep our pronouns straight) somewhat later coagulated into larger ‘manimals’ that could eat even more. No one knows why this happened. And the greatest of those manimals, the ones that became the first truly interstellar rock band, are called Mystery Meat(s). Please note that the leading ‘m’ in “manimal” was lost long ago and that has led to some unfortunate category errors by “hu-men” and “wo-men” who imagine that they are not ‘manimals’--though they are--and later we will prove it through a comparative examination of hu-man and orgthing entrails which will be followed by a light snack of those same entrails.
Mystery Meat hails from Titan, moon of Saturn. We were looking for some new drugs (for illnesses on Titan) and so came to Earth. To tell the truth, we were also interested in food sources, but you knew that. It is all explained in MM’s biggest hit I’m At the Top of the Food Chain. But before we had a major radio hit we had to make a living somehow. We had been studying your ipodcasts for years. That is how we figured out how to make hit songs. It was really that easy and then we were interplanetary superstars. Now, at last, this extraordinary collection of Saturnic wisdom has been distilled into songs so simple that even Earthlings can understand them. In return, we want young girls. We promise to be nice to them. We are not cannibals, by the way.
Having enjoyed remarkable critical reception on Titan and the other inhabited celestial bodies in our solar system (colloquially referred to on Titan as “Strangely Planer” which term Mystery Meat had used as their band name while eating right, burning amberspleef, and chilling with Titanic-hos) the ‘boys’ (there is no equivalent term in our elevated language) decided to make it to Hollywood since they had been channeled by every powerful person in LA County. For decades orgthings had penetrated the dreams of the powerful through various arcane methods of divination and ethereal contact that our crack team of information conveyance researchers had developed in league with L. Ron Hubbard and the Reverend Sun Myung Moon. By the way, what we call ourselves is not something you want to know. And if you learn it, don’t say or even think it out loud. That goes for anything you don’t want us to know. Just remember that information has mass and form, just like light, and that the form it takes is time. All ages are information ages because only information and its contingent consequence, knowledge, allows consciousness to create from undifferentiated mass and arbitrary but useful categories.